365 Days with You: At First, I Didn't Understand...

Dear Baby Girl,This past year has been the longest, hardest, most emotional, most hilarious, best year of my life.  I started to write one letter to you.  Then I realized we had a lot to talk about and a lot to remember from our first year.  This will be the first of many letters.  I sure hope you read them one day.Well-meaning people told me that everything would change once you were born, but that it would be impossible to comprehend until you were here.  I'm not sure why anyone even says things like that.  If I can't understand, why would you tell me?  I know people had the best intentions, but it was isolating for me.  The assumption that I couldn't understand parenthood and could never possibly be prepared was frustrating.  I know plenty of people who aren't parents that give excellent kid advice.Now, I suppose I recognize that compulsive desire to... I don't know... warn? prepare? connect?... with other pregnant women.  I think the real secret is that our own lives change so drastically with children that we don't even acknowledge the change in ourselves until we're stopped dead in our tracks by the image of another family about to embark on the same journey.  Then suddenly all of the feelings come rushing back and we just have to say something.  I guess what I'm saying is, I get it. And I'll still try and refrain from spilling my well-intentioned advice to every new mom who doesn't ask.But for those of you who've made it this far, I guess I'll take that as an ask.  I wish I could have understood the lessons below sooner, but they're also all challenges one must persist through to come out the other end confidently.  So, my best advice is to not try to understand or DO these things, but to be open to the changes that will happen as you navigate the newborn months.At first, I didn't understand how to trust myself.  I Googled EVERYTHING.  What to do about this, what does that mean, what perfect combination of actions and products will get my baby to sleep for more than 43 minutes exactly.  Newsflash - Google didn't know you like I did.  Now, you still like to throw me for a loop every once and awhile, but I love discovering your personality and seeing the world through your eyes.At first, I didn't understand that my body would never be my own again.  All I ever wanted was to be your mama, but once I realized what that meant, I was overwhelmed with the responsibility, the crushing pressure, and the incredible privilege of it all.  Now, to say that you're a mama's girl would be an understatement.  You're a chunk of my heart walking (WALKING!) around this world now, and I'll never feel whole without you again.At first, I thought I was in control.  Turns out, there is no control.  I can try my very best to control myself and my actions, but everything else is not for me to control or try to control.  I can't always control whether you sleep at night by doing the exact same series of things that made you sleep last night because... what if you're not as sleepy?  or what if you miss me?  or have a different kind of night tonight than the night before?  Looking back, I know I had the best intentions as I treaded the postpartum waters, but I wish I'd spent a little less time trying to make things the way I thought they should be and more time letting you just be.This feels redundant from every other mommy blog I've read before, during, and after having a child, but putting it down in my own words is therapeutic.  If you made it this far through my self-therapy session, I appreciate you.And if this resonates with you, please let me know!  Is there any advice you want to give a new mama but haven't?  Any advice you received that helped you navigate life with a newborn? Drop it in the comments below.  I promise not to give away to the advice to anyone who doesn't ask!